Motherhood is unbelieveably amazing, but also quite scary. I wanted to update you on what the last 4 months have been like and what to expect as a new mom. These are the things that I have experienced and although they are a struggle, it DOES it better, and I want to share these times with you because I feel as though we all go through these things, and should come together as mommies and share our stories and lift each other up!
Month one, you are in a dream it feels like. You just gave birth to this amazing little tiny human that is a little piece of you and your husband and you’ve got a million emotions going on, and you are so overwhelmed and completely exhausted. The darkest time was the first 2 weeks for me and then it gradually got better and better. I wrote about what more of what went on those first few weeks here.
Month two- starting to see the light. Lost about a third of the baby weight, and I was slowly feeling better. I still felt a little insecure about my body. Despite losing all the weight so quickly, my body still wasn’t the same. Your body is shaped differently because of all the muscle loss. I talked about more of my weight loss after baby here.
I felt like I couldn’t ever leave him. That comes with nursing though, and pumping isn’t my favorite thing. It is so time consuming, but I feel lucky that I get to be with him basically full time.
When I did leave him with babysitters, I felt like I needed to rush home, and just felt so sad leaving him and even guilty.
I jumped into work to quickly and thought I could handle it, but it was way to overwhelming, so if you are able to, take some time off. I would say 3 months at the least if possible.
It was around the Holidays when Oaks was 2 months old, and my parents are divorced, so my mom lives out of the State, and my dad lives in an apartment, so that leaves my house the only house to gather for the Holidays. I thought I could handle it, but being a host and cleaning up after everyone is not something you want to do when you have a newborn. My family cooked and helped clean of course, but at the end of the day it is your house and you are responsible for it and responsible for entertaining. So I just had major anxiety through the holidays, and felt extremely overwhelmed. (I would blame hormones for most of this of course)
I had my moments longing for the days of freedom. I feel guilty even saying that, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my life now and what it’s become. I just feel it takes a bit for you to adjust, and we’re all human and have needs and wants. He is my everything, but in order to be a good mom and 100% there, you need your time alone as well. It is good for both you and your baby.
Month 3- was so much better. I started to feel a lot more like myself, and started working a lot more. Oaks was getting so much fun and really interactive, and laughed for the first time, and is the happiest baby. When they smile back at you you forget everything, and are so happy. It makes it all worth it.
My husband has been the biggest support and I am so grateful for that. He is always telling me to get out of the house on the weekends and go have a day to myself while he watches Oaks. YOU DO need those days by the way. Sometimes I think I don’t but once I have gotten out and a couple hours to myself it feels amazing.
This past week I have been trying to get him on a napping schedule and it has been pretty hard, I have had to let him cry it out a few times, which is so sad and hard to hear, but necessary. When I find myself getting frustrated about the nap thing I just have to take deep breaths and always keep in mind that nothing lasts forever and someday I will miss this days of rocking him to sleep. But good news is he is catching on!
There is always one last time for everything, so I always keep that in mind and it makes me enjoy every moment with him. You never know when that last time will be either. They are constantly changing and growing.
So, the other day a friend shared this with me, and it did make me cry haha 🙂 but it put things into perspective for you.
The Last Time
From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
But don’t forget …
One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
So while you are living in these times,
I am no expert on any of this! I am just learning as I go, and learning how to be Oaks mom.
So I will leave you with that! Enjoy your tiny babies. Through all the hard times, and the good times. I am learning they grow so incredibly fast!
Being a mom is the best and hardest thing I have ever done! It is SO rewarding though, and am always echoing myself with that, but it is the truth.
But how stinking cute does he look in these photos? 🙂
What are some things that help you mommies get through your day? I want to hear! Also, any of you have napping tips, please share! I have been trying so many different thing lately. Some work and some don’t.
Thanks for reading!