When I had Oaks, I had a new found form of anxiety. I think that just comes a long with the territory of becoming a parent. I really have never struggled with anxiety until having Oaks.
When I had Liv, I had a new found form of OCD. I’ve always struggled with this, but found a way to control it in a productive way, to use it to my benefit and those around me. Such as organizing my time better, focusing on one thing at a time, cleaning, making sure everyone is happy etc…
But this is something else. The last couple of weeks I’ve found myself obsessing over not doing enough or being enough, or capturing enough. (this is huge for me, because it might be my last baby) so I’m finding myself obsessing over the fact that I should’ve done this while she was a newborn, I should’ve captured this photo or that video… MAN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. phew. Feels good to get that out. Back track,
Before I had Liv I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would limit my phone time, social media time, to live in the moment & not compare. It’s been awesome because I’ve followed through, but that doesn’t mean I’m perfect. there have been days , especially over the last couple weeks that I’ve had some self doubt coming on, anxiety over fear of things happening to my Little’s, obsessing over perfectionism, wondering where I’m going to find the time for things, overwhelmed, then it hit me. What’s this stemming from? Comparing. Not working on a goal aka myself. Unmet commitments I’ve made to myself. Not feeling enough. Feeling like I need to be more & do more. Not living in the moment.
Then I said to myself “You’re right where you need to be. Take a breath & listen. You’re in the comparison game again.” Being in the present moment is the answer, feeling gratitude and love is the answer. We all have these moments & feelings. It’s important to talk about them & it’s important to know how to navigate & get back to your purpose of being here.
The anxiety & obsessing comes from surface things, material things & things I can’t control, it also comes from letting myself down and commitments I’ve made to myself. Little things and big things.
Here are some things I do to get out of this funk.
TAKE TIME OFF SOCIAL/PHONE. I LOVE this space. It’s empowering and a way to come together and share advice and relate to one another, BUT it can be toxic if you let it in too much. Too much of anything isn’t good. So turn your phone off, or set a time on your app for how long you can look at it. (There is a setting in the iPhone). I give myself 1 hour and a 1/2 on instagram everyday, so I plan what I’m going to do and be productive on it. Once that time is up, it’s gone for the day, no using it until the next day. I also DO NOT look at my phone first thing in the AM. I’ll wait at least 2 hours before picking it up. Morning is time for one on one time with my babies.
DON’T FOCUS ON THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL. You can’t control the weather, you can’t control how people are, or how they act, you can’t control what happened yesterday or last year. BUT you can control this moment and the way you feel about it. You can control how you’re going to react and be in this moment. Think about it, all we have is this moment RIGHT NOW. There is no guarantee for tomorrow or a month from now , year from now etc. So live now.
DESTINATION SEEKING. The “I’ll be happy when I get this promotion, or I’ll be happy when I make this much, or have my baby, or not pregnant” You won’t. Because you’ll get there and be like wait, today sucks, I’ll be happy when we build this house” BE HAPPY RIGHT NOW. Live right now. Your life is happening right now. If you don’t like it, work on it. Fix it, change. The things you do consistently will form your life for a better tomorrow.
TAKE A TIME OUT EVERYDAY. taking time to take a deep breath & repeating affirmations. “You’re worthy, you’re strong & enough” is life changing. You’ve gotta be consistent! I meditate 10 minutes a day and noticed the biggest difference a couple months in. Now I stopped and I’m back to square one, but thats okay. The point is, keep trying, never throw in the towel. Take a time out.
PERSPECTIVE. Realize that nothing lasts forever. Enjoy the blessings that are right in front of you. Everyone has something they’re grateful for.
WORK ON SOMETHING. Do what you love. Work on the thing you wanted to work on. Big or small, that business, that body, being a better mom, friend, partner, or your yard… literally anything. Write it down. Set a side time to do it everyday, even if its just for 20 minutes. Work towards something. It builds confidence!
I encapsulated my placenta after this baby and it played A HUGE ROLE in my recovery! Working on that post now and telling you about my experience. It helped me so much! But obviously anxiety comes with having children, its just what we do to help with the anxiety and notice that its there.
Thanks for reading!