Since It’s our 6 YEAR ANNIVERSARY tomorrow. September 24, 2011. It’s BIZARE we’ve been married 6 years. I remember our wedding day like yesterday. Pure perfection in my eyes. Watch our WEDDING VIDEO to see this day come to life.
I’m NO expert when it comes to marriage. Each year I learn something new about TJ and about our marriage. Sometimes you learn the hard ways. No marriage is perfect, and ours is far from it. But I don’t think that matters. What matters is how you grow from it, how you learn from your mistakes and move on. How you cope with it together and definitely how you chose your battles. OH BOY. Did I learn choosing your battles the hard way, you guys. Some days are so blissful, smooth and happy. Some days I could chop his balls off and I’m sure he could do the same to me. (minus the balls chopping) I annoy myself sometimes. haha.
I wanted to share with you, six things I learned from my marriage SO FAR. And hopefully you can walk away feeling not alone, and apply this to your marriage, or relationship. I know for myself, I love hearing about other marriages, and what they do to keep growing and getting stronger. It inspires me to always work at it and never give up.
- CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. For example, no matter how many times I tell TJ to squeegee the damn shower so it doesn’t get water spots, he’ll NEVER remember to. So I either fight with him about it, or deal to cope with it. After many times of nagging him to do it, he will maybe— a time or two, but mostly forgets. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, but some things aren’t as important to him. SO, my point is instead of me bickering at him and causing dumb fights, I choose not to say anything and I’ll pick up his slack. Same with him not putting things away. I’m programmed to pick up after him. It’s in my routine haha. I’ve just learned it’s not a big deal. He helps me in other ways, like being a super hands on dad, doing the dishes, making dinner, or watching after Oaks while I do my thing. Picking up after himself isn’t one of them, but I’ll take the other things over that. SO I chose my battle to simply pick up after him, instead of fighting over silly things. Because I can guarantee you, I would miss his messes if he weren’t here.
- FIND A HOBBY TOGETHER. From the beginning TJ and I have tons in common, but some of thats changed as we’ve gotten older. BUT the one thing we love doing together is working out, going for runs, hikes etc.. We love going to the gym together, its our day date now and a fun little treat. Before Oaks we used to work out every single day together, so now when we get to work out once a week together, it’s even better. Brings me to my next one.
- INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH SOMETHING THEY LOVE. TJ loves music. I MEAN LOVES. But, a certain type of music. A lot of people don’t listen to his type of music. Electronic, techno, progressive. It gives him life listening to it. You can say its kind of like sushi music (music you hear in sushi restaurants) . It’s chill, but sometimes I want to listen to something different. Sometimes I complain, but sometimes I’ll just pretend like I’m enjoying it as much as him. Don’t get me wrong, I love his music, but not the way he does. Another thing, he hates taking my pictures or getting photos done together, but he does it because he knows it’ll make me happy.
- GET BUSY IN THE BEDROOM. YUP… If you’re not doing it, then you really need to get on it.. literally.. haha. I can tell a difference when we aren’t. It’s almost like we lose connection. It’s definitely harder when you’ve got kids around. You have to plan it out sometimes.. not so romantic right? Im not saying every damn day. 1-2x a week is ideal right? It’s so important!! I know what you’re thinking ladies, “I don’t feel like it?” “Im tired”. BUCK UP. I’m talking to myself too. RALLY, just rally. Do it for him.. I feel the men need it more than the woman? Unless, you the woman needs it more.. if thats you, then tell us your secret please?!
- DO YOU. Don’t be so dependent on your partner. Have your own thing! It’s so important to have your own hobby, or job, something you created on the side. This allows you to express yourself in your own way and not be so needy. There is nothing more unattractive than a needy person.
- TALK IT OUT/COMMUNICATE. I saved this one for last because it’s super important. I’ve learned this the hard way too, and it’s still something we both have to work on daily. When something is bugging you, don’t wait until it gets built up to talk it out. Talk it out once it comes up! There will never be a good time to talk about something that is confrontational and makes you uncomfortable. It’s best to approach it nicely, and in a way you know how your husband likes to be approached. Nip it in the butt and communicate whatever is bothering you, before it gets so bad that you blow up.
I’m not an expert at all! These are things that have helped us, and things that I’ve learned the hard way. You have to go through some hard times to become stronger together as a couple. Its how you deal with it, and grow together that matters.
On another note, we just got back from a staycation in Park City, where it was SNOWING. Couldn’t believe it, but Utah is like that. We kinda skip fall sometimes. We stayed at the Westgate, and it was so nice and relaxing. Went to The Farm for dinner. Highly recommend! We love their Charcuterie Tray.
Tell me some things you’ve learned along the way about your relationship/marriage?
Hope you had an amazing weekend!