REASONS WHY I’M SAYING GOODBYE TO MOMMY GUILT

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I think mom guilt is something you have to learn to get over.  I spent so many countless hours having this guilt of doing things for myself.   Even if that meant leaving for 1 hour to go to the gym.   I had this gut feeling every time I left the house that no one could do a good of a job as me and that I needed to be the one always with them to protect them.  I say them, but this was when I just had Oaks.   

Then I had Liv and it intensified.  SO bad.  The anxiety was bad, but I finally came to the realization after multiples breakdowns and panic attacks that I needed help.   I couldn’t do the things that I love, all while being there ALL THE TIME for my kids.   I finally surrendered and asked for help.   In order for me to show up for them I need to fill up my cup, feed my soul with what I desire.  There is nothing selfish about it, and there is no reason any mom should ever feel guilty for wanting that and not just wanting to stay at home all day with her kids.  There is no wrong or right way.  Each family has their own unique ways of raising their kids. 

Here are reasons why I’m leaving mom guilt out there door this year.

  1. FILL UP MY CUP FIRST.  Like I said, in order for me to show up fully present for my kids and my ultimate best self is I need to do the things that will help me do that FIRST.  That can look different for each mom.  Mine is building this brand and having this community, then having alone time, meditating, working out, having a moment to myself before the kids wake,  working on my work etc.  
  2. BEING SELFISH WILL HELP ME BECOME SELFLESS.  Doing the things that feed my soul, will help me be able to be my best self to my kids, therefore will feed their souls and help teach them that they can do whatever they put their mind to.  Being a present mom is my ultimate goal.
  3. FULLY BEING PRESENT.  When I do these things, it will help me be WITH them when I’m actually around them, verses trying to catch up on work, glued to my computer or phone.  This isn’t something I want to teach them, BUT I’m not perfect with this, but finding help and getting time to myself to do these things so I can be fully present and not feel overwhelmed with all the tasks I need/want to get done.  
  4. DON’T TRY TO BE PERFECT.  I’m sure you know this, but there is no such thing as a perfect plan or perfect situation or perfect parent.  Choose the life that best fits you and your family.   Don’t stress about what sally is doing and do you.  I ultimately have put my blinders on and honing in on what works for my family this year.

These things have fueled me up to be present with whatever I’m doing, whether I’m at home being a house wife and full time mom, to working outside of the house.  I want to be where I am instead of resisting where I am.   These things in turn have not made me feel so guilty for leaving the house to get my work done, or reaching out to ask for help.  I’m the best mom, wife, and creative when I can prioritize whats important.  

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MOM GUILT MOMENT

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20 (1)BALANCING WORK/MOM LIFE IS NO JOKE.  This post is going to be super raw and real.  This year I’m going to do my best at sharing all the real stuff with you.  It goes SO beyond what you guys are seeing.  I’m very open with you all, but of course I’m not going to share everything.  

BALANCING WORK LIFE/ MOM LIFE IS THE MOST CHALLENGING THING I’VE EVER DONE.  TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS I JUST FEEL LIKE I’M NOT BEING A PRESENT MOM.  Some days I feel like I’ve got it all handled aka super mom.   YES I TIME BLOCK, which has been so helpful, and yes it’s very efficient way to get it done, but some days come crashing down on me.  Those are the days when Oaks need me the most, then I have deadlines and I’m all stressed out.  It’s just very hard to do both.  Being a mom is a lot of work. It’s a full time job.   You all know this!

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IT HURTS.  Today, is just one of those days I feel extremely overwhelmed and I feel like I’m not there for him, or being present enough.   

I WANT TO DO BOTH.  Thats the thing, I’m very very grateful for everything I have.  I love what I do so much, but I love being a mom more of course.  I’ve found ways to do both, but like I said, it’s one of those days!  Mom guilt is a real thing.  We can be supermom all week long, and then when it comes time to leave them overnight for a girls night, or leave them even longer, you feel like a bad mom.  Then you start to get anxiety of something bad happening to them while you’re gone.  My lord, talk about HEAD TRIP.  Do you guys feel me?  

BEING A MOM IS A HEAD TRIP.   RIGHT??   None of us know what the hell we’re doing. We think we do, and then some other problem arrises and your basically back to square one.    We’re all just doing the best we know how, and learn how along this motherhood journey/crazy ride.  As Oaks grows older the more fun it keeps getting, but at the same time… it gets a little more challenging.  As he learns, grows and starts to understand things more.   Understanding they love sugar, but you have to teach them that it isn’t good for you all the time, and then they get upset and throw tantrums… I mean the list goes on and on.   Don’t hit people, don’t throw that cup full of water, don’t flush toys down the toilet etc, etc, etc…!

Maybe all those things are boys things too.  Every child is different! SO PS NEVER JUDGE A MOM.  Anyways, what I wanted this to be about is sharing my story, and the hard things that go through my head everyday.  I know you guys feel me and I want you to know that it goes so beyond just pretty pictures.  Oaks is shitting his pants daily, I’ve got shit on my hands, he throws everything in our house,  I’m in my work out/sweats most days, (sometimes they might have crusty oatmeal on them.. you never know), no make up, and running around trying to keep things clean (I put that on myself because I’m a clean freak), cook dinner, get my work done, all while trying to be there and watch Oaks grow up.  MAN.  SHITS HARD, but my hell don’t we love them so much?  I cry all the time because the love I feel hurts so much.  

Being a mom IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.  It’s helped me find my purpose in life, it’s taught me so many life lessons, patience, time management, being a good wife, cooking/experimenting yummy healthy meals etc.   I love sharing it all with you, and being there for you too.  The community that we’ve all created here is incredible!

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TOPSHOP JEANS I LOVE- HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE

MY TANK / PLAID BUTTON UP / BOOTS 

OAKS CLOTHES- ALL ZARA

Love you all!  Have a good day!

xox,

SARA LYNN