MOM GUILT MOMENT

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20 (1)BALANCING WORK/MOM LIFE IS NO JOKE.  This post is going to be super raw and real.  This year I’m going to do my best at sharing all the real stuff with you.  It goes SO beyond what you guys are seeing.  I’m very open with you all, but of course I’m not going to share everything.  

BALANCING WORK LIFE/ MOM LIFE IS THE MOST CHALLENGING THING I’VE EVER DONE.  TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS I JUST FEEL LIKE I’M NOT BEING A PRESENT MOM.  Some days I feel like I’ve got it all handled aka super mom.   YES I TIME BLOCK, which has been so helpful, and yes it’s very efficient way to get it done, but some days come crashing down on me.  Those are the days when Oaks need me the most, then I have deadlines and I’m all stressed out.  It’s just very hard to do both.  Being a mom is a lot of work. It’s a full time job.   You all know this!

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IT HURTS.  Today, is just one of those days I feel extremely overwhelmed and I feel like I’m not there for him, or being present enough.   

I WANT TO DO BOTH.  Thats the thing, I’m very very grateful for everything I have.  I love what I do so much, but I love being a mom more of course.  I’ve found ways to do both, but like I said, it’s one of those days!  Mom guilt is a real thing.  We can be supermom all week long, and then when it comes time to leave them overnight for a girls night, or leave them even longer, you feel like a bad mom.  Then you start to get anxiety of something bad happening to them while you’re gone.  My lord, talk about HEAD TRIP.  Do you guys feel me?  

BEING A MOM IS A HEAD TRIP.   RIGHT??   None of us know what the hell we’re doing. We think we do, and then some other problem arrises and your basically back to square one.    We’re all just doing the best we know how, and learn how along this motherhood journey/crazy ride.  As Oaks grows older the more fun it keeps getting, but at the same time… it gets a little more challenging.  As he learns, grows and starts to understand things more.   Understanding they love sugar, but you have to teach them that it isn’t good for you all the time, and then they get upset and throw tantrums… I mean the list goes on and on.   Don’t hit people, don’t throw that cup full of water, don’t flush toys down the toilet etc, etc, etc…!

Maybe all those things are boys things too.  Every child is different! SO PS NEVER JUDGE A MOM.  Anyways, what I wanted this to be about is sharing my story, and the hard things that go through my head everyday.  I know you guys feel me and I want you to know that it goes so beyond just pretty pictures.  Oaks is shitting his pants daily, I’ve got shit on my hands, he throws everything in our house,  I’m in my work out/sweats most days, (sometimes they might have crusty oatmeal on them.. you never know), no make up, and running around trying to keep things clean (I put that on myself because I’m a clean freak), cook dinner, get my work done, all while trying to be there and watch Oaks grow up.  MAN.  SHITS HARD, but my hell don’t we love them so much?  I cry all the time because the love I feel hurts so much.  

Being a mom IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.  It’s helped me find my purpose in life, it’s taught me so many life lessons, patience, time management, being a good wife, cooking/experimenting yummy healthy meals etc.   I love sharing it all with you, and being there for you too.  The community that we’ve all created here is incredible!

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TOPSHOP JEANS I LOVE- HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE

MY TANK / PLAID BUTTON UP / BOOTS 

OAKS CLOTHES- ALL ZARA

Love you all!  Have a good day!

xox,

SARA LYNN

3 DAY POTTY TRAINING: HERES WHAT HAPPENED

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If you guys have been following my whole journey with this, you know I recently did the 3 DAY POTTY TRAINING METHOD.  I followed her steps to a freaking T.  I did this almost 3 weeks ago.   I won’t go into her details of the book but here is the basics.  Get tons of new sheets, tons of new undies.  Day 1 you wake them up with diaper still on.  After breakfast you go to their room, grab some undies and get on their level.  Explain to them, that these are their big boy undies and only babies wear diapers, PRAISE them and be soooo excited about their new big boy undies! Throughout the whole process you praise them for how BIG they’re.  SO  then you get every single diaper in the house and make it fun and have him throw all of them away!  

PS it took Oaks a minute for this.  He refused the undies and cried and cried, so I let him be naked until he calmed down.  It took about 20 minutes for him to calm down and let me put on his big boy undies.  Now he loves them.  Anyways, then you literally say ALL DAY LONG “Let mommy know when you have to go potty, okay?”  “Keep those undies dry” I said this every 3 minutes I think haha.  You literally cannot leave their side because you have to catch them in the act and RUSH them to the potty.  You don’t say anything negative, don’t punish them for peeing in their pants.  You rush them there, and then say lets keep these undies dry and go in the potty next time okay?  Then REPEAT this all day long.  I left Oaks side for 1 minute and I missed an accident or 2, so I learned the hard way that you cannot leave their side through this.

I did this on the weekend and it sucked really bad.  It’s very boring haha.  So just be prepared for it.  The book goes over what you need to do, BUT…

HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED.

Day 1: many, many accidents. LOTS.

Day 2: lots and lots of pee, poo, accidents LOTS. I started to feel very discouraged and felt like it wasn’t working.  

Day 3:  He started holding himself and then would say “pee pee” and he went pee in the potty!  Poop he did the same thing, but I would wait for him to start pushing and then semi finish on the toilet haha.  Then all of the sudden he stopped going pee too, so I had TJ go buy a little Insert to go on top of the toilet and that SAVED US.  He went right away and was more relaxed.  Now he doesn’t need it, but it helped in the process of it all.  SO I recommend getting it.  HERE IS THE LINK.   

I’m super impressed with out how quickly he caught onto the whole rush to the potty when you have to pee.  He still has accidents, but only because he’s having to much fun when playing with friends.  He tells me every time he has to go, it’s amazing.  OR he’ll hold himself and thats a sign to take them.  

He got the gist of potty training, but I wouldn’t say that they’re FULLY potty trained.  They just understand the basics, and you kinda just get it over with the first 3 days.  BUT with that said they WILL still have accidents and wont be fully trained in 3 days.  So don’t expect them to be perfect and good to go after 3 days.   

A week later, he peed the bed every night still, so I would get him up a couple hours after bedtime, or sometimes 3am, (the book tells you to) and he never went and would just basically would still be sleeping.  So I finally went against what the book said and put him in pull ups at night.  He pees sometimes and will still wake up and say “pee” and ask me to take him.   DO YOU MOMMA.    Follow the rules, but you’ll also start to do things a little differently according to you own child and the relationship you guys have.  It all comes down to doing what works for the two of you, but following basics of someones else’s advice and twisting to your own.  

THEN.  Shit hit the fan.  Literally.  The kid WON’T go poop in the potty 2 weeks after 3 day potty training.   He will hold it. Lovely right?  It’s still a struggle to this day and something we’re working on.   If you don’t want to hear about poop probs then don’t keep reading haha.

But I bought him a Potty that sings, and that still isn’t helping.  Finally I put him in a pull up when he tells me he has to go and I’ll stick him in the bathroom and let him do his business.  I just say let mommy know when you need to go poop.. it still takes him forever to go.  It’s been pretty rough.  So we’re still trying to get the hang of it all with that.  He’ll go every now and then in the potty, but it’s not everyday.  He’s mostly scared to go.   I still praise him every time there is a tiny bit of progress and I’ll tell him how proud I am of him!   HERE IS THE POTTY TRAINING SEAT.

I gave him rewards when he went and now every time he goes, he says “award award!” hahah It is hilarious!  

I love FRUIT OF THE LOOM undies for him!  He loves them too!  
ALL in all it gets extremely frustrating and is very tedious!  I still get very impatient with it.  But as long as you’re consistent and keep praising them, they will get it!  It’s so worth it.  Just keep with it!  I was so close to giving up on day 2, but don’t.  They will understand.  

THREE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW.

  1. WHAT YOU NEED.  you don’t need 20 sheets to do it, thats what the book tells you, but I have 3 sheets and just washed every time he had an accident.  So lots of laundry.  You will need about 12-15 pairs of undies.  
  2. DONT EXPECT.  Don’t expect them to get it right away.  Some do and some don’t.  Oaks didn’t until the middle of the third day. They won’t be fully trained in 3 days, so also don’t expect that either.  They’ll know basics which makes it easier to train them.  
  3. BE PATIENT.  You’ll need lots and lots of that.  Keep your calm, go punch a pillow scream in a  pillow to get your frustration out if you have to.. haha.  I know that I had to take lots of deep breaths.  

http://www.lovebylynn.com/listen-to-that-mama-voice/

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MY TOP / OAKS TOP / MY PANTS

Have you done this 3 day method?  How’d it go?

Let me know if you have any questions!  Pillows and blankets in THIS POST.  For Oaks sippy cup in this post, check out my BOTTLE WEANING POST.

Have a great day!

xoxo,

SARA LYNN