Honestly guys, motherhood has been super difficult lately. This age is very challenging and it’s hard to know what a good balance is lately. He’s an age where he constantly wants to be played with, like 24/7 ALL DAY. He wants every minute of me, and when I can’t give that to him he freaks out and therefore of course makes me feel guilty. I sometimes think am I not giving him ENOUGH attention? But no, I took the time yesterday to give him every second of me and it drained the living hell out of me and it still wasn’t enough for him. So I’m learning that I need to start teaching him that he needs to use his imagination and mommy cant entertain him all day. This is why it’s good he’s started preschool! Part of me felt he was getting so bored.
So I wanted to take this and share some pieces of advice that I’ve been taking away from motherhood lately. In order to fully enjoy motherhood and be the best versions of ourselves, I feel these 7 things help me be fully present and enjoy it more.
- SELF CARE. Take time for yourself. Honestly even if that means giving him the ipad for 30 minutes while you go in the other room and hide for a minute. But I schedule a self care for myself every single week. Whether thats a spray tan, nails, facial, going to the store by myself, picking out a new lipstick by myself etc. Whatever makes you whole and happy, do that. It’s going to be much easier to do those things since he’s in preschool 3x a week, but coordinate a babysitter, have your husband watch them. Do what you need to do.
- WAKE UP BEFORE THE KIDS. This has been a game changer for me. I need a moment to myself in the morning, even if it’s just 10 minutes to myself sipping on my coffee looking at the window.
- PUT AWAY YOUR PHONE. Whenever I’m on my phone, and mindlessly scrolling through instagram (we all do this) I’ve been so much better the past 4 months, BUT whenever I do sometimes do this, I get in a weird mood. Therefore if Oaks is whining and wants me and I’m “to busy” reading someones post, I get upset at him and the poor guy just needs a drink! It’s awful and Oaks will literally say to me “momma phone down” it snaps me right back to reality and I realize I’m in a MUCH better mood not waking up to my phone. Instead I’ll TIME BLOCK looking at it. Read that post on why I time block. Plus I don’t want to teach Oaks to be on your phone all the time.
- GET OUTSIDE. Go take your child outside and leave your phone behind. Be with them and know that these time as a young child is going to pass by so quickly! Getting outside and going for a walk with them is so magical to me. Point to the mountains, the grass, just making the area of where you are aware of living in the NOW. Listen to their cute voices and really pay attention to what they say and what they’re doing.
- SPEND 2 HRS A DAY. Spend 2 hours a day with them without any distractions and really focus your time and energy on them. I feel that we need to do this as parents. Our kids need us and our attention! Learn more about them and let them know you care and love them so much. We’re all busy, but time block that into your schedule. You can spread the 2 hours out, because I do most days too, but again, 2 hours with NO distractions. I read to Oaks and play his favorite games, sing songs, go over shapes, colors and numbers.
- MEDITATE. I went over this on 5 WAYS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE, but this has really helped me live in the moment and taught me how to manage my anxiety better. Only when I do this consistently. But I use the headspace app.
- ADJUST YOUR SCHEDULE. The truth is our kids run our schedules, when they can’t get out what they really need in the form of words, they throw fits and tantrums. Instead of getting mad and yelling, really try to understand whats going on. I feel that getting mad doesn’t get anyone anywhere. I’ve been learning this as a parent. So when this happens we get so upset that we can’t get anything done off of our checklist for the day. I struggle with this so much. I get so overwhelmed when my checklist isn’t done because Oaks wanted to play all day or throwing tantrums. But I’m learning that it’s okay. How long are they little for? Not long at all. Putting that into prospective is what puts me into reality and helps me be more patient with him. The dishes can wait, that post can wait, laundry can wait.
We all have good and bad days, no matter what you see on social media. So don’t beat yourself up for not getting your checklist marked off. Measure your days by giggles throughout your home, cute smiles you see, those little tugs on your shirt, little voices saying mamamamama a million times, and those little bodies crawling all over you.
Motherhood is crazy wild journey. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but so rewarding. It’s good for all of us moms to share our struggles everyday and share our advice with one another. This is why I love the internet and social media. We need to learn to love it and use it positively, not let it take over us. Balance it all out just like you would eating to many cookies haha. Indulging to much in anything is bad for us.
I sure love you mommas. Let me know if you need anything! Lets chat and talk about our struggles and lift each other up!
Have a great day!