motherhood

Honestly guys, motherhood has been super difficult lately. This age is very challenging and it’s hard to know what a good balance is lately. He’s an age where he constantly wants to be played with, like 24/7 ALL DAY. He wants every minute of me, and when I can’t give that to him he freaks out and therefore of course makes me feel guilty. I sometimes think am I not giving him ENOUGH attention? But no, I took the time yesterday to give him every second of me and it drained the living hell out of me and it still wasn’t enough for him. So I’m learning that I need to start teaching him that he needs to use his imagination and mommy cant entertain him all day. This is why it’s good he’s started preschool! Part of me felt he was getting so bored.

So I wanted to take this and share some pieces of advice that I’ve been taking away from motherhood lately. In order to fully enjoy motherhood and be the best versions of ourselves, I feel these 7 things help me be fully present and enjoy it more.

SELF CARE. Take time for yourself. Honestly even if that means giving him the ipad for 30 minutes while you go in the other room and hide for a minute. But I schedule a self care for myself every single week. Whether thats a spray tan, nails, facial, going to the store by myself, picking out a new lipstick by myself etc. Whatever makes you whole and happy, do that. It’s going to be much easier to do those things since he’s in preschool 3x a week, but coordinate a babysitter, have your husband watch them. Do what you need to do.
WAKE UP BEFORE THE KIDS. This has been a game changer for me. I need a moment to myself in the morning, even if it’s just 10 minutes to myself sipping on my coffee looking at the window.
PUT AWAY YOUR PHONE. Whenever I’m on my phone, and mindlessly scrolling through instagram (we all do this) I’ve been so much better the past 4 months, BUT whenever I do sometimes do this, I get in a weird mood. Therefore if Oaks is whining and wants me and I’m “to busy” reading someones post, I get upset at him and the poor guy just needs a drink! It’s awful and Oaks will literally say to me “momma phone down” it snaps me right back to reality and I realize I’m in a MUCH better mood not waking up to my phone. Instead I’ll TIME BLOCK looking at it. Read that post on why I time block. Plus I don’t want to teach Oaks to be on your phone all the time.
GET OUTSIDE. Go take your child outside and leave your phone behind. Be with them and know that these time as a young child is going to pass by so quickly! Getting outside and going for a walk with them is so magical to me. Point to the mountains, the grass, just making the area of where you are aware of living in the NOW. Listen to their cute voices and really pay attention to what they say and what they’re doing.
SPEND 2 HRS A DAY. Spend 2 hours a day with them without any distractions and really focus your time and energy on them. I feel that we need to do this as parents. Our kids need us and our attention! Learn more about them and let them know you care and love them so much. We’re all busy, but time block that into your schedule. You can spread the 2 hours out, because I do most days too, but again, 2 hours with NO distractions. I read to Oaks and play his favorite games, sing songs, go over shapes, colors and numbers.
MEDITATE. I went over this on 5 WAYS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE, but this has really helped me live in the moment and taught me how to manage my anxiety better. Only when I do this consistently. But I use the headspace app.
ADJUST YOUR SCHEDULE. The truth is our kids run our schedules, when they can’t get out what they really need in the form of words, they throw fits and tantrums. Instead of getting mad and yelling, really try to understand whats going on. I feel that getting mad doesn’t get anyone anywhere. I’ve been learning this as a parent. So when this happens we get so upset that we can’t get anything done off of our checklist for the day. I struggle with this so much. I get so overwhelmed when my checklist isn’t done because Oaks wanted to play all day or throwing tantrums. But I’m learning that it’s okay. How long are they little for? Not long at all. Putting that into prospective is what puts me into reality and helps me be more patient with him. The dishes can wait, that post can wait, laundry can wait.

We all have good and bad days, no matter what you see on social media. So don’t beat yourself up for not getting your checklist marked off. Measure your days by giggles throughout your home, cute smiles you see, those little tugs on your shirt, little voices saying mamamamama a million times, and those little bodies crawling all over you.

Motherhood is crazy wild journey. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but so rewarding. It’s good for all of us moms to share our struggles everyday and share our advice with one another. This is why I love the internet and social media. We need to learn to love it and use it positively, not let it take over us. Balance it all out just like you would eating to many cookies haha. Indulging to much in anything is bad for us.

I sure love you mommas. Let me know if you need anything! Lets chat and talk about our struggles and lift each other up!

Have a great day!

If you guys have been following my whole journey with this, you know I recently did the 3 DAY POTTY TRAINING METHOD. I followed her steps to a freaking T. I did this almost 3 weeks ago. I won’t go into her details of the book but here is the basics. Get tons of new sheets, tons of new undies. Day 1 you wake them up with diaper still on. After breakfast you go to their room, grab some undies and get on their level. Explain to them, that these are their big boy undies and only babies wear diapers, PRAISE them and be soooo excited about their new big boy undies! Throughout the whole process you praise them for how BIG they’re. SO then you get every single diaper in the house and make it fun and have him throw all of them away!

PS it took Oaks a minute for this. He refused the undies and cried and cried, so I let him be naked until he calmed down. It took about 20 minutes for him to calm down and let me put on his big boy undies. Now he loves them. Anyways, then you literally say ALL DAY LONG “Let mommy know when you have to go potty, okay?” “Keep those undies dry” I said this every 3 minutes I think haha. You literally cannot leave their side because you have to catch them in the act and RUSH them to the potty. You don’t say anything negative, don’t punish them for peeing in their pants. You rush them there, and then say lets keep these undies dry and go in the potty next time okay? Then REPEAT this all day long. I left Oaks side for 1 minute and I missed an accident or 2, so I learned the hard way that you cannot leave their side through this.

I did this on the weekend and it sucked really bad. It’s very boring haha. So just be prepared for it. The book goes over what you need to do, BUT…

HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED.

Day 1: many, many accidents. LOTS.

Day 2: lots and lots of pee, poo, accidents LOTS. I started to feel very discouraged and felt like it wasn’t working.

Day 3: He started holding himself and then would say “pee pee” and he went pee in the potty! Poop he did the same thing, but I would wait for him to start pushing and then semi finish on the toilet haha. Then all of the sudden he stopped going pee too, so I had TJ go buy a little Insert to go on top of the toilet and that SAVED US. He went right away and was more relaxed. Now he doesn’t need it, but it helped in the process of it all. SO I recommend getting it. HERE IS THE LINK.

I’m super impressed with out how quickly he caught onto the whole rush to the potty when you have to pee. He still has accidents, but only because he’s having to much fun when playing with friends. He tells me every time he has to go, it’s amazing. OR he’ll hold himself and thats a sign to take them.

He got the gist of potty training, but I wouldn’t say that they’re FULLY potty trained. They just understand the basics, and you kinda just get it over with the first 3 days. BUT with that said they WILL still have accidents and wont be fully trained in 3 days. So don’t expect them to be perfect and good to go after 3 days.

A week later, he peed the bed every night still, so I would get him up a couple hours after bedtime, or sometimes 3am, (the book tells you to) and he never went and would just basically would still be sleeping. So I finally went against what the book said and put him in pull ups at night. He pees sometimes and will still wake up and say “pee” and ask me to take him. DO YOU MOMMA. Follow the rules, but you’ll also start to do things a little differently according to you own child and the relationship you guys have. It all comes down to doing what works for the two of you, but following basics of someones else’s advice and twisting to your own.

THEN. Shit hit the fan. Literally. The kid WON’T go poop in the potty 2 weeks after 3 day potty training. He will hold it. Lovely right? It’s still a struggle to this day and something we’re working on. If you don’t want to hear about poop probs then don’t keep reading haha.

But I bought him a Potty that sings, and that still isn’t helping. Finally I put him in a pull up when he tells me he has to go and I’ll stick him in the bathroom and let him do his business. I just say let mommy know when you need to go poop.. it still takes him forever to go. It’s been pretty rough. So we’re still trying to get the hang of it all with that. He’ll go every now and then in the potty, but it’s not everyday. He’s mostly scared to go. I still praise him every time there is a tiny bit of progress and I’ll tell him how proud I am of him! HERE IS THE POTTY TRAINING SEAT.

I gave him rewards when he went and now every time he goes, he says “award award!” hahah It is hilarious!

I love FRUIT OF THE LOOM undies for him! He loves them too!
ALL in all it gets extremely frustrating and is very tedious! I still get very impatient with it. But as long as you’re consistent and keep praising them, they will get it! It’s so worth it. Just keep with it! I was so close to giving up on day 2, but don’t. They will understand.

THREE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW.

WHAT YOU NEED. you don’t need 20 sheets to do it, thats what the book tells you, but I have 3 sheets and just washed every time he had an accident. So lots of laundry. You will need about 12-15 pairs of undies.
DONT EXPECT. Don’t expect them to get it right away. Some do and some don’t. Oaks didn’t until the middle of the third day. They won’t be fully trained in 3 days, so also don’t expect that either. They’ll know basics which makes it easier to train them.
BE PATIENT. You’ll need lots and lots of that. Keep your calm, go punch a pillow scream in a pillow to get your frustration out if you have to.. haha. I know that I had to take lots of deep breaths.