I think mom guilt is something you have to learn to get over. I spent so many countless hours having this guilt of doing things for myself. Even if that meant leaving for 1 hour to go to the gym. I had this gut feeling every time I left the house that no one could do a good of a job as me and that I needed to be the one always with them to protect them. I say them, but this was when I just had Oaks.
Then I had Liv and it intensified. SO bad. The anxiety was bad, but I finally came to the realization after multiples breakdowns and panic attacks that I needed help. I couldn’t do the things that I love, all while being there ALL THE TIME for my kids. I finally surrendered and asked for help. In order for me to show up for them I need to fill up my cup, feed my soul with what I desire. There is nothing selfish about it, and there is no reason any mom should ever feel guilty for wanting that and not just wanting to stay at home all day with her kids. There is no wrong or right way. Each family has their own unique ways of raising their kids.
Here are reasons why I’m leaving mom guilt out there door this year.
- FILL UP MY CUP FIRST. Like I said, in order for me to show up fully present for my kids and my ultimate best self is I need to do the things that will help me do that FIRST. That can look different for each mom. Mine is building this brand and having this community, then having alone time, meditating, working out, having a moment to myself before the kids wake, working on my work etc.
- BEING SELFISH WILL HELP ME BECOME SELFLESS. Doing the things that feed my soul, will help me be able to be my best self to my kids, therefore will feed their souls and help teach them that they can do whatever they put their mind to. Being a present mom is my ultimate goal.
- FULLY BEING PRESENT. When I do these things, it will help me be WITH them when I’m actually around them, verses trying to catch up on work, glued to my computer or phone. This isn’t something I want to teach them, BUT I’m not perfect with this, but finding help and getting time to myself to do these things so I can be fully present and not feel overwhelmed with all the tasks I need/want to get done.
- DON’T TRY TO BE PERFECT. I’m sure you know this, but there is no such thing as a perfect plan or perfect situation or perfect parent. Choose the life that best fits you and your family. Don’t stress about what sally is doing and do you. I ultimately have put my blinders on and honing in on what works for my family this year.
These things have fueled me up to be present with whatever I’m doing, whether I’m at home being a house wife and full time mom, to working outside of the house. I want to be where I am instead of resisting where I am. These things in turn have not made me feel so guilty for leaving the house to get my work done, or reaching out to ask for help. I’m the best mom, wife, and creative when I can prioritize whats important.