as Oaks approaches 2 years old, I sit here in aw just remembering that day so vividly when he was born. Remembering how I felt— almost as if I can feel it deep in my soul at this very moment. I physically and emotionally remember that day as if it was yesterday. Wow, how time passes… I get so emotional when I think to deeply about it, but it’s good to think deeply sometimes. It’s all happy thoughts, but I have a hard time thinking he isn’t always going to be my little baby I can smooch all day. That I can put him down to sleep and know where he is 24/7, that I can pick up and set on my hip, or sing songs to, bathe, play silly little games with… the list goes on.
BUT— he will always be my baby at heart. I will always be his mom and he will always be my son, sometimes he may not love my hugs, but he most definitely needs them. Just as much as I need his.
Being a mom is hard. I say that over and over again, but it’s true. The thing is it doesn’t get easier either. Yes, you have those easy days and you think “man, I GOT THIS!”, but then in less than 24 hours something else appears and you’re to deal with another thing that popped up.
It’s a constant learning battle, but also the most rewarding battle. I can’t tell you enough, that being a mother has turned me into someone I didn’t even know I could be.
There are days I really don’t know how I’ll make it through, but then there are days that I tear up and wish I could relive. For example, today I was playing on the stairs with Oaks for the 50th time in a row this morning. He loves this game where he throws the ball down the stairs, I then catch it and throw it to him. He LOVES this game. He even does a little excitement twitch/dance move after he throws it. you know what I’m talking about if you watch my stories and snapchat!
I was thinking how simple it was to me, but yet AMAZING to him. Then I thought– when he grows older and doesn’t like this game anymore, and how much I would actually miss it. Even though, I get bugged with it sometimes, I have to put myself in check and remember that these little simple things ARE the BIG THINGS. Those moments can’t be replaced. They’re cherished forever.
Also, just like these photos, another simple moment I will cherish forever are going to lakes and pool, watching him throw rocks or whatever he can find into the water.
That will truly help you enjoy simple (aka big) moments with your little ones. Because times are tough with them, but my hell— don’t we just love them so much it hurts?! And did you guys notice how much he doesn’t want hugs or kisses from me in these photos?! haha dying laughing.
Hope you guys have a good day!